by Teboho Seretlo
What does the term “ghosting” even mean? I looked it up on Google and this is what comes up: “Ghosting is when someone who used to be friendly or even romantic with you suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation. While most people think of ghosting in a digital context, meaning a friend or dating partner stops responding to texts, emails, calls, etc., it can happen across all social circumstances.” For me, where it says it can happen across all social circumstances, this is true. However, I daresay it happens across the spectrum, professionally too.
Have you ever submitted a proposal via email, whether solicited or unsolicited, and was met with silence, dead silence? You are lucky if you get an acknowledgement of receipt of your email. That, to me is also ghosting. Yes, maybe to a certain extent I can understand being ghosted for sending an unsolicited proposal. I have even been ghosted by organisations, big and small, who owe me money, after I have rendered services to them, ouch.
Similarly, many a job seeker have experienced ghosting, after sending CV’s in response to advertised positions. I can well understand, especially in this context that is characterised by high levels of unemployment, that people also tend to respond to job adverts even though they do not meet the criteria. Out of sheer desperation, to get a job, any job, just to survive. This then causes a huge backlog for the recruiters BUT I need to mention that some recruiters do include a clause that if you do not hear back from them after a certain number of days, then assume that your application was unsuccessful.
On the other side of the coin, employees also ghost potential employers, especially after attending an interview and then getting a counteroffer from their current employer. Instead of going back to the potential employer to turn down their offer, you duck and dive, ignore their emails and their calls, wasting their time in the process. If they know you are no longer interested in the role, they can turn their attention to the next best candidate.
Why does it feel so uncomfortable or hurtful to be ghosted, though? For me personally, I feel utterly disrespected when being ghosted. Maybe it makes me feel undervalued too. I hope that I do not do that to others in return, for whatever reason. When you are on the receiving end of ghosting, you are left wondering what could have happened; asking yourself if your proposal was inadequate, (or if it is a friend who ghosted you, you ask yourself several times what it is that you could have done to “deserve” such treatment).
Therefore, I urge us to do better. Let us not be those people who ghost others. Let us commit to doing better by respecting and valuing other fellow humans. It is the least we can do in our immediate spheres of influence.
RESPECT, INTEGRITY, DECENCY
Teboho Seretlo is the managing director and founder of Seretlo Investments (Pty) Ltd, a business support services consultancy which assists micro, small and medium enterprises with business intelligence support, business plans and investor pitch decks, funding applications, business cost optimization and business improvement processes. She also ran a franchised premium dry-cleaning outlet of her own for 5 years. She holds a BSc (Hons) in Maths from University of Fort Hare, Management Development Programme (MDP) from GIBS and an International Executive Development Programme (IEDP) GIBS & Rotterdam School of Management. She has over 25 years working experience with corporates such as Nedbank, Momentum, The Coca-Cola Company, SABreweries and Unilever, where she gained experience in a variety of disciplines including B-BBEE &transformation, financial management & budgeting, project management, decision-support, business strategy & analysis as well as research. She is passionate about gender issues and does volunteer work for women empowerment organisations.
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