by Lori Milner
What if you approached personal growth like decluttering your wardrobe? If you want to add new items more suitable to your current style, you want to free up space first and let go of the items that no longer serve you or are not aligned with who you are. Instead of reading another personal growth book or attending another workshop, what can you edit out that is no longer aligned with who you are first?
Consider the following areas to declutter:
Goals
Rather than add more resolutions, goals or projects, what can you drop? Never mind a to-do list; what about a drop list? Are there things you committed to previously that don't make sense now in your current circumstances, like furthering your studies or starting a new hobby?
Rather than continually feeling guilty for not starting or making excuses that you're too busy, how about freeing yourself from the commitment and affirming it is not a priority right now?
Place this project onto your drop list, and know you can always return to it anytime. Don't let unimportant things take up valuable mental and emotional bandwidth.
Labels
What labels have you attached to yourself that can you edit out? Are you a procrastinator, an introvert, shy, a bad public speaker, lazy, or undisciplined?
You can behave yourself into the person you want to become, so rather than call yourself a procrastinator, get into the habit of starting. Drop the label of being shy and invite someone in your team for coffee.
Whatever label is holding you back, it's time to edit it out and replace it with something more empowering and in alignment with what you want to create and who you want to become.
If you want to be a writer, show up to write every day. If you want to be healthy, act like healthy people do. What would they eat for lunch? What would they do as they wake up instead of hitting the snooze button?
"Making a choice that is 1 per cent better or 1 per cent worse seems insignificant in the moment, but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime, these choices determine the difference between who you are and who you could be” - James Clear
Habits
Your habits and rituals are the difference between self-leadership and self-sabotage. What rituals can you edit out if you feel like you aren't growing or feel stuck?
Your rituals determine every area of your life; create better rituals if you don't like your finances. If you aren't happy in your relationships, create better rituals. Consider these edits that could go a long way to accelerating your personal growth:
· Replace the habit of hitting the snooze button with showing up and keeping the promises to yourself
· Replace the habit of drinking alcohol during the week with water or herbal tea
· Replace the habit of checking your inbox and messages first thing in the morning with something self-care related
· Replace the habit of mindlessly scrolling social media with reaching out to someone
· Replace the habit of checking your phone before bed with reading
Nutrition
Are there foods you could edit out that will go a long way to managing your energy? If you feel very flat, consider what you ate 72 hours before, and you'll find out why.
It's not a mystery, do more of the things you know you should be doing, and you'll see huge shifts in your energy. You can read all the books and attend workshops and seminars, but if you don't have energy, all the knowledge will become intentions rather than actions.
As Derek Sivers wisely says, 'If knowledge was all it took, we would all be billionaires with six-pack abs".
Emotions
We all have an emotional home, a place we default to that is so habitual we don't even realise it. Do you spend most of your day in guilt, overwhelm, anxiety, sadness or anger? Or do you go to contentment, gratitude, and optimism despite the situation you are facing?
Consider your default emotion when you are stressed. Does this serve you? Is it the best place you can navigate the situation from? Consider how you will show up to a challenge when you default to anger versus courage.
To move forward, write down all the negative emotions you experience in a week and all the positive emotions you experience, and I'm pretty sure you will find that your negative list is longer.
Now write down all the emotions you want to experience more of and how you can make it easier to do this. You achieve emotional mastery when you can take control of generating these emotions within yourself rather than relying on external approval.
When you can let go of the destructive emotions holding you back, you will always make decisions from a place of strength, which is true growth. It's not to say you can't experience negative emotions but create awareness if this is where you go automatically and how long you choose to stay there.
Beliefs
The most important area to edit is your beliefs. What is a belief? You feel certain about it, whether true or not because it feels true for you.
Humour me and think about what beliefs you adopted at a previous life stage that don't serve you now. If you believe that success equals pain or sacrifice, is that why you aren't going for the dreams?
If you believe you have to be at breaking point to take a sick day or rest, this is why you are still feeling trapped, stuck, anxious or fearful of success.
Whatever the beliefs are for you – question them. It can take one skilful edit to change your life.
What if success doesn't equal sacrifice?
What if you can create days you love and live by design rather than default?
What if work doesn't have to feel painful but can be the greatest source of joy and fulfilment?
What if you have love around you, you just need to be open to receiving it.
Final thoughts.
Personal growth is a basic human need; we all want to feel we are better than last year or even last month. Rather than pressure yourself for more books, podcasts, and workshops, what if you could adopt the mindset of less by editing out what no longer feels in alignment with who you are?
You can choose to edit out the following:
Goals
Labels
Habits
Nutrition
Emotions
Beliefs
As Stephen King reminds us:
"To write is human; to edit is divine."
Here's to being the author of your life.
Warm wishes
Lori
Lori Milner is the engaging facilitator, thought leader and mentor known for her insightful approach to being a modern corporate woman. Her brainchild, the successful initiative Beyond the Dress, is the embodiment of her passion to empower women. Beyond the Dress has worked with South Africa’s leading corporates and empowered hundreds of women with valuable insight on how to bridge the gap between work and personal life. Clients include Siemens, Massmart, Alexander Forbes, Life Healthcare Group, RMB Private Bank and Unilever to name a few. Lori has co-authored Own Your Space: The Toolkit for the Working Woman in conjunction with Nadia Bilchik, CNN Editorial Producer. Own Your Space provides practical tools and insights gleaned from workshops held around the world and from interviews with some of South Africa’s most accomplished women to provide you with tried-and-tested techniques, tips and advice to help you boost your career, enhance your confidence and truly own your space on every level. Own Your Space is the ultimate ‘toolkit’ to unleash your true power. It’s for the woman who wants to take her career to new heights and who is ready to fulfil her true potential.
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