by Ashika Pillay
So often, I hear from my clients, friends and family and myself, of how I need to “get over my procrastination”, or “I don’t understand why I am putting this off?”. It’s a disease that plagues many, and is often misunderstood. Deeper enquiry and insight can lead to transforming this way of being, and open us to becoming more effective, productive and impactful. After much research and case studies with my own clients, I have some ideas on why we put things off, and why we appear to get in our own way.
Why is it that some tasks appear “ease-ful” and happen seamlessly, while others bear the weight of a ton of bricks on our backs? Is it really that we don’t have the time, or is it that we don’t have the emotional energy to confront what we may be avoiding. On the surface, procrastination certainly looks like a time management issue. Yet, if you look deeper, you will notice, that there’s a pattern to the tasks that you approach, and the ones that you avoid.
Notice how your body feels when you have a task that has “ease” to it. There’s action (doing) and a feeling of calm in the body. Next notice how your body feels when there’s a task that you are putting off? There’s contraction in the body, and perhaps most importantly a lack of clarity - somewhere. Perhaps it's about confronting an issue that you don’t feel you have the energy for, or it’s a difficult decision that needs to be made, or it’s about a competence with the task at hand, or it could be a view of how “perfect” the outcome needs to be. Perhaps you question the purpose of this task? In all of the above, the common theme is that there is an imbalance somewhere and emotional regulation issue at hand. Your mind, body and spirit are in some way not aligned. There’s a lack of harmony, space and leadership. Let’s delve into each one.
Mentally, let’s look at this as two steps. First, checking in on how you are thinking about this, and second finding a way to re-frame that thinking?
Here are a few checking in questions.
Why am I avoiding this task?
What don’t I wish to confront
What feels “energy draining” about this?
What’s getting in my way?
How am I getting in my own way?
Now that you’ve checked in, how can you see this task differently and reframe. What is the insight from answering the above questions?
Physically, we can simply become aware of how our bodies feel about this task, and then find a way to regulate the emotional tone of the body. Most times procrastination is associated with a level of overwhelm and stress. These lights up the alarm (emotional/limbic) center of the brain, takes the command center (pre-frontal cortex) off line, and our bodies become immersed in the hormones of fright/flight or freeze. Simply recognizing this state in the body, can bring ease. Next, deep intentional breathing like “box breathing” - breathing in for 5 seconds, holding for 5 seconds, breathing out for 5 seconds and holding for another 5 seconds) can help us to reset the brain and bring the command center back on line. This is a simple and profound exercise to cause an inner shift from confusion and anxiety to calm and clarity.
Last and probably most important, we can check in with our deeper level of connection to this task.
What is the inner spiritual conflict?
Where is this task out of alignment with my values and purpose?
What is my belief about this?
Managing energy - mental, emotional and spiritual is a way out of many hidden conflicts. Procrastination can sometimes simply be a symptom of an imbalance and lack of harmony somewhere in the continuum of mind, body and purpose. Look deeper, and you could be surprised about what you learn about how to manage your life with deeper wisdom.
Dr Ashika Pillay is a medical doctor, executive coach and wellbeing and mindfulness teacher. She is a mum of three boys and wife to Thiru Pillay. She believes that the nexus of all her skills is here - to create a space for personal wellbeing, and leadership by living wholeheartedly into our lives, and finding the potential make a change in our lives and the world. She has completed an MBA, and is passionate about Functional Medicine which approaches medicine in a holistic, multi-dimensional manner. She is also a member of faculty at a coaching school, a board member at the Institute of Mindfulness of South Africa and works with corporate clients and students at present.
Her philosophy is in total wellbeing, preventative medicine and mindfulness as routes to us evolving into the best versions of ourselves - mentally, physically and spiritually.
Her passions are women’s health, neuroscience, stress management, yoga and meditation.
Contact details: pillay.ashika5@gmail.com
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