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The science of influence: How great mentors transform lives

May 1, 2025 Melanie Hawken

by Ntsoaki Sibiya - Mentorship Expert | Mentorship Mindset Thought Leader | Entrepreneur 

Have you ever met someone who changed the trajectory of your life with just a few words? Maybe it was a teacher who believed in you when no one else did. Or a leader who saw potential in you that you hadn't yet recognized. These individuals weren’t just advisors; they were influencers in the truest sense. They understood the science of influence—the art of shaping perspectives, nurturing potential, and igniting transformation.

I remember a pivotal moment early in my career when I was ready to give up. I felt stuck, doubting my abilities and unsure of my path. Then, I had a conversation with a mentor who didn’t just offer advice—he shifted my mindset. Instead of telling me what to do, he asked me the right questions, helping me uncover solutions within myself. That one conversation planted a seed of confidence and clarity that has grown into everything I’ve built today.

This is the power of influence. A great mentor doesn’t dictate; they inspire. They don’t impose answers; they illuminate paths. And often, their impact extends far beyond what they’ll ever see.

The Science Behind Influence

Influence isn’t accidental; it’s intentional. It’s built on psychology, trust, and human connection. Here’s how great mentors leverage the science of influence:

  1. They Build Trust First
    Influence begins with trust. Without it, words are empty. Great mentors establish trust by listening more than they speak, being genuinely invested in others’ success, and showing up consistently.

  2. They Understand the Power of Belief
    Science shows that people often rise (or fall) to the level of expectations set for them. A mentor’s belief in their mentee’s potential can be the catalyst that turns self-doubt into self-mastery.

  3. They Lead with Questions, Not Answers
    The best mentors don’t just provide solutions; they help their mentees think critically and uncover their own insights. By asking powerful questions, they shift perspectives and encourage growth.

  4. They Model the Behaviors They Teach
    Influence isn’t about what you say; it’s about what you do. Great mentors lead by example, showing resilience, adaptability, and authenticity in their own lives.

  5. They Create Emotional Connections
    Neuroscience tells us that emotions drive decision-making. A mentor who can connect emotionally, share their own struggles, and demonstrate empathy creates lasting influence.

Think about someone who has influenced you in a profound way. What did they do differently? Chances are, they didn’t just tell you what to do—they empowered you to see yourself differently. That’s the essence of transformational mentorship.

And now, the question is: Who are you influencing? Whether you realize it or not, someone is watching you, learning from you, and being shaped by your words and actions. Influence isn’t just for mentors with formal titles—it’s for anyone willing to invest in others.

Leaving Your Own Legacy of Influence

If you want to be a great mentor, start by being intentional about your influence. Build trust, believe in others, ask the right questions, and lead by example. Because at the end of the day, true success isn’t just about what you achieve—it’s about the lives you touch along the way.

The science of influence is powerful, but its magic lies in its simplicity: Be the person who changes someone’s life with just one conversation, one belief, and one act of mentorship.

Ntsoaki Sibiya

Peo ya Bahlakoana

Cultivating Excellence Through Mentorship


Ntsoaki Sibiya is a prominent South African entrepreneur who has established herself as an expert in the realm of mentorship and mindset transformation for mentees. As a successful businesswoman in a male dominated industry, she understands the potential of economic growth through the empowerment and mentorship of women. 

Ntsoaki is the owner of a security company and has used her business acumen and personal journey of self-mastery to inspire and mentor women, helping them navigate the challenges of the business world. Her firm belief in the capabilities and potential of women has motivated her to become a strong advocate for their empowerment. Through her mentorship programs, Ntsoaki facilitates the growth and development of mentees by building their confidence and capabilities. 

With her vast experience in business leadership, Ntsoaki is a sought-after speaker in conferences and workshops where she shares her knowledge on mentorship and mindset transformation. Her impact is felt not only in the business community but also across other sectors where she continues to inspire and empower women to thrive in their endeavors. 

Her passion for mentorship and her unwavering commitment to the economic growth and development of women is truly remarkable, making her an exceptional role model for anyone seeking to make a positive impact in people's lives. www.tsoabelosolutions.co.za

More articles by Ntsoaki.

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